Mindset & Inspiration

My reactive dog had a really bad day… How can we ever move forward?

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As reactive dog owners, we all have bad days sometimes. Some days are worse than others, like the day when my reactive Rottweiler did what I never thought she would do…

It was my husband who walked Stella and Bruce in a huge field where no one usually walked. We always had a long line on Stella, just in case, but my husband was a bit more relaxed. Then one day the worst happened. A little dog, Havanese type, showed up on a path next to the field. Stella froze and was on her way back to my husband when Bruce, the happy-go-lucky dog that he is, decided to go and say hi. Stella turned and ran towards the dog. She ended up scaring it and the owner really bad. We felt AWFUL and of course paid for all the damages and decided that was her last day off lead.

This was a huge blow for me, as a professional trainer, and even though I wasn’t in charge of her at the time, I was mortified. You’ve probably had days like this, maybe not as bad or maybe even worse.

After the initial trauma and attention given. How do you get over a challenge like this? How do you get back on track and pull yourself up again?

Well, we all have two ways of looking at things when we encounter a challenge:

1. As the end of the road.

2. As an opportunity for change and growth.

Let’s dive into the negative way of looking at things. Blaming yourself, feeling defeated, feeling hopeless, paralysed, wanting to lock you and your dog away and never go out again, feeling judged and so many other feelings come out when we view things from a negative lens.

And for a few hours or maybe a day, it’s OK to wallow. But do you know what happens if you stay here too long?

Nothing.

Sure, nothing bad happens, but also nothing good and no progress will happen. Nothing happens. I don’t think this is the way you want to live with your dog, so let’s examine the other perspective. The one that doesn’t come naturally and that is a challenge for most of us, but that we need to adapt to move forward. The positive lens.

This way to view a setback is to see it, not as the end of the road, but a bend in it. You and your dog took a detour, but you can find your way back.

The positive lens

This way of viewing things sees every setback as a learning opportunity, an opportunity to grow. This way, your setback, even if it was huge, made you learn and move forward.

The first way of viewing things is making you feel like it’s all over, whereas the second way of viewing things makes it feel like it’s just started. It’s all about how YOU choose to view it.

Henry Ford famously said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”

There will always be haters out there, but only you can decide if you want to prove them right or wrong.

YOU can choose what YOU believe. It’s not up to someone else to pick you and your dog’s future, it’s up to you. I believe you can, and if you want even more evidence to understand how important mindset is to overcoming setbacks, check out Jay Shetty’s video below.

How did we overcome this huge setback with Stella? 

We learned to never let he be off the lead unless enclosed. She loved her life to the day she passed away, and running in our big enclosed garden was her favourite. We kept working on her flexibility and impulse control, and in the end she could pass dogs that were on the other side of the street. This never happened again.

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My mission in life is to empower dog mums with the right tools and knowledge so the can take their dogs from stressed and barking to calm and confident. With my unique method I will help you understand your dog better so you never have to feel frustrated or confused ever again.

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